This may seem like either a straight forward or even silly question. Ultimately, I am currently grappling with this question...Who am I?
I have had the opportunity to meet a couple of new women in my short time thus far being single following my divorce. In the last couple of weeks, I have been able to meet and go out with a couple of women and this is an open question...who am I when we meet? Who am I when they ask about what I am doing with life and work? Who am I in the potential relationship?
I am in a process of learning about who I am on my own after a long-term relationship. I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I really need to continue this journey before I jump too deep into a new relationship.
So who am I?
Here are some things I describe myself as:
- Educated
- Quiet/shy
- Independent
- Adventurous
Here are some things that I enjoy doing:
- Traveling
- Trying new beers
- Sunsets
- Museums
While I know about these, I will continue to ponder and develop a better sense of who I really am in the next few weeks and months as I explore my new life on the east coast.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Memorials (5/23)
Earlier this week on my birthday, I took a stroll through a couple of the memorials in Washington DC and I have made a few other trips earlier this year.
This is Memorial Day weekend and living in the DC region, this is even more prominent and front of mind than it has been at other times in my life. The visits I have made to all of the memorials that I have visited this year, have been relatively quick trips, though they provided a contemplative time for me during each visit.
During the first two years that I lived in Seattle, I lived about 2 blocks from a large cemetery and in particular the military portion of the cemetery. I used to take our dogs for walks around that section of the cemetery almost daily for several months and was able to take in the very peaceful atmosphere. This atmosphere is very present in military cemeteries as the nearly identical plain white markers arranged in such an organized fashion enhance this environment and I feel that it is very conducive to reflection.
While I have commuted past Arlington National Cemetery numerous times this year and been able to fly over the cemetery multiple times this year, I have yet to visit. This national cemetery is a place that will be very present in my thoughts this week with all of the activity taking place there.
I will also commit to visiting Arlington before the end of June. I know that when I visit, I will have an incredible opportunity to immerse myself within the environment and will take a great deal of care to reflect on the sacrifices that our service men and women have made and continue to make.
This is Memorial Day weekend and living in the DC region, this is even more prominent and front of mind than it has been at other times in my life. The visits I have made to all of the memorials that I have visited this year, have been relatively quick trips, though they provided a contemplative time for me during each visit.
During the first two years that I lived in Seattle, I lived about 2 blocks from a large cemetery and in particular the military portion of the cemetery. I used to take our dogs for walks around that section of the cemetery almost daily for several months and was able to take in the very peaceful atmosphere. This atmosphere is very present in military cemeteries as the nearly identical plain white markers arranged in such an organized fashion enhance this environment and I feel that it is very conducive to reflection.
While I have commuted past Arlington National Cemetery numerous times this year and been able to fly over the cemetery multiple times this year, I have yet to visit. This national cemetery is a place that will be very present in my thoughts this week with all of the activity taking place there.
I will also commit to visiting Arlington before the end of June. I know that when I visit, I will have an incredible opportunity to immerse myself within the environment and will take a great deal of care to reflect on the sacrifices that our service men and women have made and continue to make.
Reflected Self
One year ago, I was able to perform an exercise called the Reflected Best Self that had a pretty profound impact on me at that time. In this exercise, you request feedback from 10-20 people that you know and they share 1-3 examples of when you were at your best in their eyes and how you contribute value as a person and in relation to the respondents.
This year, I have been reminded of this exercise as I have classmates who are taking the same course that I took last spring. I have been able to give feedback to a couple of people and feel that it has been a great experience to provide this to others, knowing how impactful it was for me to receive similar feedback just one year ago.
Today, in response to one of these reflected best self pieces of feedback that I gave to a friend of mine in my grad program, I received a wonderful piece of unsolicited feedback from them as well. This person that gave me the feedback, is one of the more perceptive and thoughtful people I know and I really value this feedback.
Having received this feedback I am going to be more conscious of what they shared and I will be a better peer and friend because of it.
I will be sharing the Reflected Best Self exercise further with friends, colleagues and family in the future so that others can receive the benefits and perspectives that this exercise provides.
This year, I have been reminded of this exercise as I have classmates who are taking the same course that I took last spring. I have been able to give feedback to a couple of people and feel that it has been a great experience to provide this to others, knowing how impactful it was for me to receive similar feedback just one year ago.
Today, in response to one of these reflected best self pieces of feedback that I gave to a friend of mine in my grad program, I received a wonderful piece of unsolicited feedback from them as well. This person that gave me the feedback, is one of the more perceptive and thoughtful people I know and I really value this feedback.
Having received this feedback I am going to be more conscious of what they shared and I will be a better peer and friend because of it.
I will be sharing the Reflected Best Self exercise further with friends, colleagues and family in the future so that others can receive the benefits and perspectives that this exercise provides.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Birthdays (5/20)
My birthday was today and it got me too think about years in the past and what I have or have not done to celebrate. I also began thinking about what it means each time I travel around the sun.
I don't tend to do much for my birthday each year or any year in general. This year I went for a morning visit to some of the memorials along the shore of the Tidal Basin before going in to work.
In many of my past years, I have also worked on my birthday as with this year. One memorable birthday was when I turned 18 and was working at Toddy's. When I got off work, I purchased some frosting and a box of cake mix and went home to bake a cake. I dug out a cake pan from my childhood...a Care Bears cake pan. I then baked and frosted my birthday cake.
This is more illustrative of my individual nature than anything.
This year I visited a couple of Alexandria pubs before heading home.
So not to bore with memories only, I have also thought about the meaning of passing the time during each year of my life. Some thoughts were around what life would be like if time was measured differently, such as shorter "years" or longer on other planets. I also thought a bit about how our international date line impacts what day it is and what day is my birthday depending on where I am in the world.
I don't have any significant further thoughts but this isn't a blog for my deepest thoughts, mote to get me thinking rather than more idly passing each day of my life...each year!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Smell the Grass
This week, I have been a bit occupied about my yard and needing to mow the grass, after two weeks traveling it really grew and needs to be cut. Even with that preoccupation, I have yet to mow. I have also considered purchasing a new mower, which I really do need for my fenced yard, yet I have still haven't placed an order.
Back to that in a moment...
Last night as well as the last several days since I returned, there have been daily afternoon, evening and late night thunderstorms in the area. This is great for my grass to grow even more...but more importantly for this story, it has really raised the humidity in the area and in my house.
So back to smelling the grass. After a reasonable commute (at least reasonable by my new DC standards) this morning, I opened my drivers side window about a block before I arrived at my office. For that block, I pass by a large grassy city park and the sun had risen high enough to start putting some heat and soli light onto the grass. This brought out a smell, that I am sure I have smelled many times in the last 20 years, though the memory that was immediately brought to mind was from the summer of 1996.
In the summer of 1996, I spent a month living with a family and playing soccer in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. During this summer, even though technically it was Southern Hemisphere winter, it was quite warm and humid in the lower lands of Bolivia and still quite close to the equator, especially compared to everywhere in the US. During this time in Bolivia, I rarely played on fields of lush grass, let alone much grass at all, yet there was a smell of grass and humidity. That smell and those experiences in Bolivia are now tied so closely in my mind that even after a couple of decades, I can be transported back in time instantaneously.
Today, taking those few moments to smell the grass, led me to a series of great memories of a very profound and impactful period of my life. I hope I get to "smell the grass" many more times this summer as I adjust to my new region...and I will eventually mow the grass at my house!
Back to that in a moment...
Last night as well as the last several days since I returned, there have been daily afternoon, evening and late night thunderstorms in the area. This is great for my grass to grow even more...but more importantly for this story, it has really raised the humidity in the area and in my house.
So back to smelling the grass. After a reasonable commute (at least reasonable by my new DC standards) this morning, I opened my drivers side window about a block before I arrived at my office. For that block, I pass by a large grassy city park and the sun had risen high enough to start putting some heat and soli light onto the grass. This brought out a smell, that I am sure I have smelled many times in the last 20 years, though the memory that was immediately brought to mind was from the summer of 1996.
In the summer of 1996, I spent a month living with a family and playing soccer in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. During this summer, even though technically it was Southern Hemisphere winter, it was quite warm and humid in the lower lands of Bolivia and still quite close to the equator, especially compared to everywhere in the US. During this time in Bolivia, I rarely played on fields of lush grass, let alone much grass at all, yet there was a smell of grass and humidity. That smell and those experiences in Bolivia are now tied so closely in my mind that even after a couple of decades, I can be transported back in time instantaneously.
Today, taking those few moments to smell the grass, led me to a series of great memories of a very profound and impactful period of my life. I hope I get to "smell the grass" many more times this summer as I adjust to my new region...and I will eventually mow the grass at my house!
Monday, May 18, 2015
Introductions...
A recent feature on Facebook that reminds you about moments and postings from 1-several years before on the current date. I have begun to view some of these postings and remember those past times. This got me thinking about this day in the history of Jed.
This is probably one of the most consequential dates in my history, but what is the reason for this? It is two days prior to my birthday...not the reason. It is the anniversary of the Mt. St. Helens eruption...nope.
This is the day that I met my ex-wife 7 years ago.
Serendipitous encounters that lead to significant live events are very thought provoking and in particular today has been a very introspective day.
I think back to what was going on in my life at that time and what I am doing in life now. Both times are/were chaotic with a great deal of change going on. I was in the process of changing jobs within an organization in 2008, I was having some significant personal changes in life and I was beginning to open some doors into a world of engagement with relationships. I was also just under 6 months away from making a huge move from Colorado to Seattle.
Fast forward 7 years, I am still transitioning in a new job and less than 6 months after another significant move from Seattle to Washington DC. I am transitioning through a period of significant personal change in life around separation and divorce. I am also beginning to reopen some doors into the new 2015 version of engagement with relationships.
Introductions, first impressions, first memories...days like these when such events occur...for every year after definitely bring up many thoughts and emotions.
This is probably one of the most consequential dates in my history, but what is the reason for this? It is two days prior to my birthday...not the reason. It is the anniversary of the Mt. St. Helens eruption...nope.
This is the day that I met my ex-wife 7 years ago.
Serendipitous encounters that lead to significant live events are very thought provoking and in particular today has been a very introspective day.
I think back to what was going on in my life at that time and what I am doing in life now. Both times are/were chaotic with a great deal of change going on. I was in the process of changing jobs within an organization in 2008, I was having some significant personal changes in life and I was beginning to open some doors into a world of engagement with relationships. I was also just under 6 months away from making a huge move from Colorado to Seattle.
Fast forward 7 years, I am still transitioning in a new job and less than 6 months after another significant move from Seattle to Washington DC. I am transitioning through a period of significant personal change in life around separation and divorce. I am also beginning to reopen some doors into the new 2015 version of engagement with relationships.
Introductions, first impressions, first memories...days like these when such events occur...for every year after definitely bring up many thoughts and emotions.
Laundry Day (Sunday 5/17)
After traveling for two weeks I returned home late last week. This left me short on clothes...very short on some necessary pieces of clean clothing!!!
In this predicament, which I haven't had for a couple of years, as I am good at keeping up on my laundry tasks, I was thinking about a few times when I was shortest on clean clothing.
The times that stuck out the most are when I was in Africa, in particular Sudan, Ethiopia and Zanzibar when I had to wash my clothes in bathroom sinks with a bar of soap. Doing this was quite an experience after having had a clothes washer for my entire life. The dirt and grime that was in the clothes at that time was very ground in and difficult to get out.
I wasn't just thinking about the task and how difficult it was compared to the modern automated washing I was accustomed to. I was also thinking about the time that I had to set aside and what I was able to do with that time. There was quite a bit of time involved and then the hang drying of the clothes in some cases in very humid environments took quite a while. During this washing and drying time, I was also the least connected to the world electronically. This occurred before I ever had a cell phone, there was little or no internet access at these locations and no TV.
Over the last month or so, I haven't been able to use my clothes washer in my house without devoting time and effort to the wash either. I can still use it though I have a plumbing drainage problem that overflows during the washing. Since this occurs, I have the clothes washer drain into a 5-gallon bucket, which I have to empty 2-3 times during the 45 minute cycle. This means I have to stay near the washer and I have time to pass.
Just as when I was in Africa, the time that I was passing is mostly passed with thought during this current washing situation I have. I generally try to do some school reading and sit in the laundry room near the washer to ensure that the bucket doesn't overflow.
It is strange to come so far from those remote locations in Africa to now be in a major metropolitan area with technology and modern plumbing, yet still have the symmetry of time devoted to thought, reading and learning and escape some of the ever-connectedness technological world that we live in.
In this predicament, which I haven't had for a couple of years, as I am good at keeping up on my laundry tasks, I was thinking about a few times when I was shortest on clean clothing.
The times that stuck out the most are when I was in Africa, in particular Sudan, Ethiopia and Zanzibar when I had to wash my clothes in bathroom sinks with a bar of soap. Doing this was quite an experience after having had a clothes washer for my entire life. The dirt and grime that was in the clothes at that time was very ground in and difficult to get out.
I wasn't just thinking about the task and how difficult it was compared to the modern automated washing I was accustomed to. I was also thinking about the time that I had to set aside and what I was able to do with that time. There was quite a bit of time involved and then the hang drying of the clothes in some cases in very humid environments took quite a while. During this washing and drying time, I was also the least connected to the world electronically. This occurred before I ever had a cell phone, there was little or no internet access at these locations and no TV.
Over the last month or so, I haven't been able to use my clothes washer in my house without devoting time and effort to the wash either. I can still use it though I have a plumbing drainage problem that overflows during the washing. Since this occurs, I have the clothes washer drain into a 5-gallon bucket, which I have to empty 2-3 times during the 45 minute cycle. This means I have to stay near the washer and I have time to pass.
Just as when I was in Africa, the time that I was passing is mostly passed with thought during this current washing situation I have. I generally try to do some school reading and sit in the laundry room near the washer to ensure that the bucket doesn't overflow.
It is strange to come so far from those remote locations in Africa to now be in a major metropolitan area with technology and modern plumbing, yet still have the symmetry of time devoted to thought, reading and learning and escape some of the ever-connectedness technological world that we live in.
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